Getting To Know You

I'm an only child. Well, sorta! I am my mother's only child and the oldest of my father's six children. 

I was always very close to my paternal grandparents and spent much time with them. Pop would pick me up on Friday nights or Saturday mornings and take me home on Sunday afternoons. In the summer, I would spend weeks with them. But my father was not often around. I was about 11 years old when my father took me to see my newborn brother, Jeff. Don't remember much about it except that he was a tiny redheaded baby. In the subsequent years my father had four more children - Bonnie, Jamie, Sean and Kristie. I met Bonnie, Jamie and Sean while visiting in Virginia on our way to California when I was eighteen. And I met them all, except Jeff, in 1977 when Thom and I brought Tommy (age 11) and Diane (age 8) to the East Coast for vacation. Why I don't know, but no contact had ever been made by my family with Jeff and his mom though they lived in the same area. When my father was dying, Jeff saw him for the first time that he could remember - and met his other siblings. I was living in California at the time, raising young children and didn't make it to my father's funeral. But at that time information was gathered about Jeff which lead me on a search for him when I reached North Carolina and met up with Bonnie and my cousin, Tracy. He was a pastor - and he had lived in Roanoke. So, thank you Google, I started looking for him. Knew his name, knew he was a pastor, knew he was a redhead. I put the name and Roanoke into search engine and came up with a couple of leads - someone named Rusty Curling was listed on a couple of sites with music associations and local coffee house performances. Eventually, I found a pastor in Baltimore area and on December 20, 2008 when my sister Bonnie was here (she had lost contact with him, too) I emailed this message to him at 10:13 in the evening -

"My name was Sue Curling and my father was Francis Curling. I have been told that my brother, Jeffrey, was called "Rusty" and that he was a pastor. If you are indeed him, you are the last of my siblings that I have found and I will be so overjoyed. I look forward to hearing from you. Sue "

At 10:32 I received a return message - 

"Sue,
When I met the others on the night my father died, they told me there was one more. Yes I'm your brother and would love to get to know you better. I've also lost touch with the others and if you know how I can contact them would love to be in touch again.I am a pastor of a little church just outside of Baltimore Maryland. I am so glad you contacted me. When I read your message I started to cry. I still am.
Love and Blessings,
Rusty Curling
PS How did you find me? "

Back:Bonnie, Kristie's son, Kristie, Jamie, Rusty,
Rusty's mom, Betty Lee.  Front: Thom, Me, Jamie's hubby Rick

So that was the beginning of the reuniting of not only myself and my brother Rusty, but of all of us siblings. Over the last five years we have occasionally gotten together with the others when we could both make it to Norfolk at the same time. One Mother's day we had dinner at my sister Jamie's and had Rusty bring his mom, Betty Lee, the only surviving mother of us kids. It was a fun evening. Rusty and I have kept up on Face Book and through email, but haven't really had a lot of time to spend together. That was rectified this past week. Rusty, coming to a conference in Charlotte came early and spent several days with us. Don't know what kind of apprehension Rusty had, but I wondered how we would mesh. I knew we were both fairly liberal (he more so than I lol) , we liked the same kinds of music and both had pretty much the same spiritual philosophy. But, would that be enough?

My sister, Bonnie.

Well, I had a grand time. We still need lots of exploring into what our lives, our childhoods were like, some time to explore our mutual family, but the days were relaxed and comfortable. Adrian and Morgan came over one evening and we all sat around and talked. Adrian played his guitar and after he left, Rusty played his. We went to the Raptor Center one very muggy and humid day, but that was the only thing wrong with it. Another day we drove to Cherokee and had another lovely time together. Looking forward to next visit!

Rusty and my cousin, Tracy - celebrating their birthdays.

How sad that it took us so long to find each other. How sad my father and my grandparents didn't get to know him. But how blessed that before I pass on from this world that I did find my brother - my lost sibling. Love ya, Rusty! Love all of you that were lost and are now found!