Sunday, July 21, 2013

Summer 1950

It is the sounds and smells of the East Coast that carry me back to the memories of my childhood in Virginia. Not the feel of soft summer breezes or the chill of autumn in the air. Not sight, for I lived in a suburban area then, not like the rural area I live I now. Not even the taste of the South that I could not find in the West - fried Taylor Pork Roll (aka Taylor Ham) or barbecue sandwiches topped with cole slaw - bring back memories as strong as sound and smell.

The smell of new mown grass, gardenias scenting the evening air. I can even conjure up smells to remember - the smell of some awful cough medicine my grandmother used to give me, or Geritol and so much more pleasurable, the strange and unique smell of the amusement park - a combination, I'm sure, of sea damp concrete, popcorn, peanuts and cotton candy!

When we first came to North Carolina, it was the sound of the birds that brought back those first wonderful memories. Birds songs not heard in California. Those long forgotten melodies were so wonderful to hear. Today, sitting on the patio in the back yard, listening not only to nature's sounds, the birds singing and the cicadas humming, but also to man made sounds - distant traffic and planes flying over head - perfectly brought back memories of being a child of summer in Virginia.


*  *  *

In 1950, polio was the big scare. For whatever reasons, the prevailing thought was to keep children indoors during the hot afternoons. Outdoor play happened in the morning. Cowboys and Indians was a favorite game and roller skating. Sometimes I would play in the dirt with friends in the shade of the tree building little cities made up mostly of roads and imaginary houses, choosing to "build" our houses in the crook of a tree root or somewhere in the open. But best of all, we would go across the street where the creek ran, trees on either side. There trees fallen across the creek would become our pirate ships or jungle bridges. 


Googled one day to see if 
Yardley still made this and
they do. So I now have some 
which I use on occasions. 
Smells so good.
Afternoons, there were always naps and when not napping, coloring, or reading. TV was new and children's programs rare and generally in the mornings and/or on Saturdays, but I liked listening to the radio, often while playing dress up. The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane was one of my favorite songs! If it was a particularly hot day (we didn't have air conditioning - yes, I am that old) I would keep cool in the bath tub. Filled with lukewarm water, bubble bath (lily-of-the-valley - one of my conjured scents) and a plethora of kitchen utensils, I would play until my fingers turned prune-y pouring cups of water into pans, frothing the bubbles with the egg beater and making all kinds of imaginary goodies.

At my grandmother's, late afternoon was always bath time anyway. Bathed, dried, dusted with Yardly's English Lavendar Talcum Powder, I would be dressed in clean clothes (elastisized lacy on or off shoulder peasant blouses my favorites) and be ready for supper when the family gathered to eat.

Evenings and night times there were spent on the front porch slathered and scented with citronella. Sounds of the radio drifted down from the hot upstairs living room window where Pop was listening to a baseball game. Memama, other family members and sometimes Miss Mary, the mortician's wife from across the street, would sit conversing about the day while rocking back and forth in the rockers.  My cousins and I would sometimes create plays which we acted out on the front steps, or play Red Light Green Light, Mother May I, Statues, and if we were really daring, go to the end of the street where the street light was and tell ghost stories and then scream all the way back to the house in the dark. Eventually, I would end up on my grandmother's lap watching the people go in and out of the theater across the street. The following memory is so vivid, I can see and hear it as if it were yesterday - some nights I would be awake as the last stragglers of the movie going crowd left, their voices clearly reaching across the street in the late night, and then watch as the lights of the marquee were shut down.  But, most of the time I would fall asleep on Memama's lap and someone would carry me upstairs and put me to bed to rest for another fun filled summer day. 

Those were beautiful days. I am glad I still have those memories. With God's blessings, I will not forget them as I grow older.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Getting To Know You

I'm an only child. Well, sorta! I am my mother's only child and the oldest of my father's six children. 

I was always very close to my paternal grandparents and spent much time with them. Pop would pick me up on Friday nights or Saturday mornings and take me home on Sunday afternoons. In the summer, I would spend weeks with them. But my father was not often around. I was about 11 years old when my father took me to see my newborn brother, Jeff. Don't remember much about it except that he was a tiny redheaded baby. In the subsequent years my father had four more children - Bonnie, Jamie, Sean and Kristie. I met Bonnie, Jamie and Sean while visiting in Virginia on our way to California when I was eighteen. And I met them all, except Jeff, in 1977 when Thom and I brought Tommy (age 11) and Diane (age 8) to the East Coast for vacation. Why I don't know, but no contact had ever been made by my family with Jeff and his mom though they lived in the same area. When my father was dying, Jeff saw him for the first time that he could remember - and met his other siblings. I was living in California at the time, raising young children and didn't make it to my father's funeral. But at that time information was gathered about Jeff which lead me on a search for him when I reached North Carolina and met up with Bonnie and my cousin, Tracy. He was a pastor - and he had lived in Roanoke. So, thank you Google, I started looking for him. Knew his name, knew he was a pastor, knew he was a redhead. I put the name and Roanoke into search engine and came up with a couple of leads - someone named Rusty Curling was listed on a couple of sites with music associations and local coffee house performances. Eventually, I found a pastor in Baltimore area and on December 20, 2008 when my sister Bonnie was here (she had lost contact with him, too) I emailed this message to him at 10:13 in the evening -
"My name was Sue Curling and my father was Francis Curling. I have been told that my brother, Jeffrey, was called "Rusty" and that he was a pastor. If you are indeed him, you are the last of my siblings that I have found and I will be so overjoyed. I look forward to hearing from you. Sue "
At 10:32 I received a return message - 
"Sue,
When I met the others on the night my father died, they told me there was one more. Yes I'm your brother and would love to get to know you better. I've also lost touch with the others and if you know how I can contact them would love to be in touch again.I am a pastor of a little church just outside of Baltimore Maryland. I am so glad you contacted me. When I read your message I started to cry. I still am.
Love and Blessings,
Rusty Curling
PS How did you find me? "
Back:Bonnie, Kristie's son, Kristie, Jamie, Rusty,
Rusty's mom, Betty Lee.  Front: Thom, Me, Jamie's hubby Rick
So that was the beginning of the reuniting of not only myself and my brother Rusty, but of all of us siblings. Over the last five years we have occasionally gotten together with the others when we could both make it to Norfolk at the same time. One Mother's day we had dinner at my sister Jamie's and had Rusty bring his mom, Betty Lee, the only surviving mother of us kids. It was a fun evening. Rusty and I have kept up on Face Book and through email, but haven't really had a lot of time to spend together. That was rectified this past week. Rusty, coming to a conference in Charlotte came early and spent several days with us. Don't know what kind of apprehension Rusty had, but I wondered how we would mesh. I knew we were both fairly liberal (he more so than I lol) , we liked the same kinds of music and both had pretty much the same spiritual philosophy. But, would that be enough?

My sister, Bonnie.
Well, I had a grand time. We still need lots of exploring into what our lives, our childhoods were like, some time to explore our mutual family, but the days were relaxed and comfortable. Adrian and Morgan came over one evening and we all sat around and talked. Adrian played his guitar and after he left, Rusty played his. We went to the Raptor Center one very muggy and humid day, but that was the only thing wrong with it. Another day we drove to Cherokee and had another lovely time together. Looking forward to next visit!


Rusty and my cousin, Tracy - celebrating their birthdays.


How sad that it took us so long to find each other. How sad my father and my grandparents didn't get to know him. But how blessed that before I pass on from this world that I did find my brother - my lost sibling. Love ya, Rusty! Love all of you that were lost and are now found!